The thriving man … « Sacred Masculine »
Feeling good as a man allows you to (re)define what is
Man, masculinity, machismo, sacred masculine …
What man do I want to be? Thanks to the evolution the female condition, it is more common today to feel outside traditional male stereotypes. This is an opportunity … but if I am not aspiring to the Alpha male: what man should I become? If I reject the masculine because I associate it with machismo, which fathers/peers can I draw inspiration from? Is the masculine characterized in opposition to the feminine?
It is only to the extent that I am at peace with myself as a man that I can fully encounter Other, male and/or female, trans etc. The “sacred” masculine is then masculine in consciousness and in connection with the “sacred” feminine – the two dynamic poles of gendered Life.
Vulnerability, competition, connection, recognition…
It was during a Tantra workshop for men that my heart opened to men and therefore to the man I am. Until then, like most men, I didn’t even know to what extent my relationship with men in general was driven by fear in the form of distancing, competition, feelings of inferiority, escape and/or contempt. Since vulnerability was denied, being authentic was impossible, and living really well and whole was therefore unlikely.
Vulnerability, competition, connection, recognition…
Fear blocks tenderness. Without tenderness, there is no intimacy! Intimacy allows unconditional acceptance and produces trust. Trust allows vulnerability. Vulnerability releases true power!
Wounded Masculine: How do I (re)connect with the Masculine?
The experiences of well-being, pleasure, and quiet joy in such a “therapeutic connection” are the keys to deep evolution and transformation.
Homo-sensuality, homo-sexuality, homo-sensitivity… intimacy
We gain a lot by freeing ourselves from labels that are loaded with projections, interpretations, and conditioned beliefs. For example, it becomes possible to discover the power of sensuality, without any sexual and/or romantic exchange. Moreover, in Tantra, which proposes a dive into oneself, into one’s feelings, the most profound experiences are often with partners for whom there is, a priori, no sexual attraction.
“The ravages of the lack of friendly, platonic contact in men’s lives” (Mark Green)
Men’s relationships are rarely fueled by tenderness.
We are paralysed by the fear that we are not really a man if we are not sufficiently “badass”. Without role models and for fear of homosexuality, we refrain from showing tenderness, not to mention sensuality (since sensuality and sexuality are usually mixed up). We can say that the absence of tenderness between men ensures the rise of fear within our relationships.
This is no different for homosexual men. It is striking to what extent the gay community suffers from a lack of sensuality and intimacy, while physical and sexual closeness is easy and quick.
Homo-sensuality (Jacques Lucas)
Psychotherapist, course leader, and co-founder of Horizons Tantra, Jacques Lucas has been working for years to enable women and men to move forward on the path of their embodied, sexual realisation at the heart of their lives and their relationships.
It is in this context that he was led to develop the concept of homo-sensuality, notably with Maria Ortolan. They offer workshops, where women and men powerfully elaborate their connection to the feminine and the masculine separately before coming together.
Psychotherapy can help young people in their search for themselves. But there are also rites of passage; workshops “between men” which aim to validate the masculine nature by repairing, among other things, the shortfalls and dysfunctions linked to paternal deficiencies.
In ancient times, these rituals were compulsory, imposed on all young people. They marked the passage from childhood to adulthood. Homo-sensual rites of passage were intentionally organized and practiced.
Homo-sensuality is very different from homosexuality. Sexual pleasure and enjoyment are not sought. The purpose of these practices is to favour the establishment of a personality well-anchored in its masculine nature: sexual identity and gender identity.
Many of those who have participated in these rituals then feel very much like men. Indeed, allowing oneself to be touched by them both physically and emotionally, as well as allowing oneself the pleasure of touching them, allows one to integrate one’s inner feminine and to balance one’s masculine and feminine polarities. It would even seem that this is a major key for the pathways that lead to manhood.
The participation in an initiation ritual “between men” is also fundamental for those who have difficulty asserting themselves or finding their place in the world because their masculine is frozen. They can discover and befriend it without fearing the hostility or judgements of those who surround them.
From Me to Self: The Sacred Masculine
Masculine… Sacred Feminine!
Neither man nor woman, at the heart of the Human, the Feminine – Masculine: the dance of the Living! Without the feminine, the masculine obviously does not exist and vice versa. It is by welcoming my feminine that I settle into a fulfilled masculine!
“Tantra” from Sanskrit, means liberation – expansion
Tantra explores the fundamental unity of life experience. For me, it is a path from self to Self that passes through the Other, thanks to the experience of being fully recognised and welcomed in kindness.
Tantra, sexuality, sensuality, sexual energy, eroticism
From advertisements for erotic “tantric” massages to the most esoteric offers, under the term “tantra” one finds everything and its opposite. Sexuality, sensuality, eroticism… everything is in its place. In fact, Tantra is a path of freedom, it does not judge. Tantra is a demanding path of consciousness, a path towards authenticity, freedom, and openness to the world.
Tantra as a path of reconciliation and evolution
Tantra is the foundation of important spiritual practices, such as Tibetan Buddhism. Sky-dancing Tantra, firstly, and then other Tantric movements, have opened up for me the path of Body-Heart-Soul-Spirit reconnection. Tantra integrates very simply and organically all aspects of the person: emotions, mind, spirit and body, in a set of very complete proposals and practices. Sensuality is central, both as a gateway and an expression of my being in the world: an essential mode of communication. In this dynamic, the sexual and the sensual are embodied in their full power of vital and creative energy.
Tantra and sexual energy
Red Tantra, White Tantra – here too there is great diversity. Certain Tantric practices call upon sexual energy, the power of which enables the establishment of a lasting harmony of body, heart, soul, and spirit. Sexual energy is much more than a source of pleasure: it is the energy of Life. It regenerates our structures, transforms us, and frees us from all our old limiting beliefs, past wounds and frustrations.